Yesterday I spent the majority of the evening in The Creepy One's lap. He thought I wanted affection, but I really wanted his office chair. He realized his error when he left the room and then returned to find it occupied. Don't worry about him - he has a tiny secretary's chair he used while I took the more important one. He's slow to learn that all is mine and he borrows my stuff at my inconvenience.
TCO failed to provide me with the sounds of bazooka barfing last night (which any proper cat owner* knows is as soothing to us as the sound of the ocean is to humans), so I had no choice but to wake him at 3 AM and keep him up until it was time for my morning treat. He's making this difficult. Buried under the covers, I can't scratch or lick him except for times when he turns and leaves a bit of elbow exposed. He's not sleeping on his back anymore so I can't sleep on his stomach. He tried opening a tunnel in the covers to let in some fresh air, so I rewarded him by blocking his air holes with my butt. Strange guy - doesn't seem to enjoy my kitty musk at all.
At least I got my kitty treat this morning. I rewarded TCO by taking a spectacularly large dump in my litter box. At least that vomit smell is finally gone. TCO refilled my dry food bowl and I immediately ate half of it. He just doesn't understand how many calories are burned while eating.
Yes, it's a rewarding and fulfilling life here at Casa de Chian.
* where "owner" = "slave"
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4 comments:
Chian, why does my cat poop on the floor a full ONE FOOT away from the litter box? It's a clean litter box.
nwjr - although the clean litter box is a good start, what the cat really needs is more food and petting. That solves everything.
And what do you mean by "my" cat? Respect the chain of command, human.
even though it sounds like you're having a great time there, Chian, mommy's coming to get you tomorrow! I missed you a lot. Grant won't, so you will be forced to come with me ;)
Kira - there's a rumor floating around that says you now own a dog, or are at least interested in getting one. Blasphemy! You'll smoke a cat turd in purgatory for that one, wench.
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